Archive for the ‘Film’Category

Dante’s Inferno: What the Hell?

I’m usually a pretty big fan of EA games. EA has some pretty bomb titles that span a vast array of genres, appeasing everyone from fratboys to regular folks who want to play house with excellent series like the EA sports titles, Rock Band, Need for Speed, James Bond, and the Sims.

EA’s generally got some pretty good games, great titles, and excellent franchises lined up — great business plan.

But then they have Dante’s Inferno.

Admittedly, part of this disappointment is because I am an English grad (boy that feels good to say, though it still won’t get me a job). The game is clearly a complete bastardization of Dante’s masterpiece. Though this happens all the time with movies, somehow, the video game just doesn’t do it much justice. Same old story.

It’s forced to fit into the conventions of what make a video game enjoyable: tons of enemies, boss battles, puzzling levels (haha! different circles of hell!), a noble mission to rescue the damsel in distress (poetically, she was simply the muse, but I suppose that motivation to save her is the video game parallel of inspiring the poet’s literary journey). It’s also forced to be an attractive, sell-able brand: Dante was a poet, sure, but to sell, he’s got to be really buff and manly, and wield a big sword. I suppose I have no problem with the former (unlike literary aficionados, I feel like video gamers might shy away from undernourished protagonists), and the latter makes sense because Dante of the video game is not on a mission to carry on singsong conversations with the dead and tormented Popes and lusty lovers in this action-packed adaptation. But I have to ask — why does Dante look like a crusading King Arthur Grim Reaper/Dementor/Saint?

What makes me even more disappointed is that it doesn’t even look that great. It’s not particularly original (excepting its far-flung interpretation of Dante’s work) as it is basically what God of War is to Greek mythology, the adapted plot sounds shallow and cliche (I think the Mario franchise already did the whole ’save the princess’ charade), and the graphics don’t look particularly groundbreaking. The gameplay might be slightly appealing, but I’d really rather be playing God of War III.

And what really doesn’t help the case of Dante’s Inferno, you have this:

This is a reprint edition book cover for the original body of Dante’s work. Branded by EA and Random House.

What is this? Some desperate stab from both industries trying to make a classic novel (that’s taught anyways in most American high school/college level literature classes) contemporary and relevant again? Or their sad, sad attempt to reach out to literature aficionados? A bizarre attempt to unite the fronts of lit geeks and gamer geeks together? Against them?

And who wrote that copy? “The literary classic game that inspired the video game from Electronic Arts” as if its greatest literary achievement was to inspire (what could well be) a horrible video game. Dante Alighieri is rolling in his grave right now. It’s worse than making a book based on the game, based on the book.

However, in EA’s defense, I suppose that this sort of swapping book covers happens all the time with movies that are based on books. Films often partner with books and replace original covers with art from the film, along with a tagline “Now a Major Motion Picture”, like most Nicholas Sparks books, or Cormac McCarthy’s No Country for Old Men:

But somehow, seeing as Dante’s Inferno, the game falls so far from Dante’s Divine Comedy, I find it very hard to justify using game art to market the book.

I might be old fashioned (for once), but I kind of like the original engravings and other such creepy classical artwork that adorn the original covers and pages:

But whatever EA’s up to with Dante’s Inferno, my innate angry video game nerd and irate English major are joining together, screaming (with puns intended): WHAT THE HELL?

13

01 2010

Screenplay Idea DOWN THE DRAIN!

My dream of writing a killer screenplay was crushed.

Alexis Bledel stole my life and Post Grad screenwriter Kelly Fremon stole my story.

What, UCLA?

What, UCLA?

Yeah, that’s right. That’s filmed AT UCLA, right outside Royce Hall, the building which hosted many of my English classes. (Territorial growl) That’s my school, beezy.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit. This is a pretty cliche story idea anyways.

Here’s the IMDB summary:

Ryden Malby graduates from college and is forced to move back into her childhood home with her eccentric family, while she attempts to find a job, the right guy, and just a hint of where her life is headed.

I envisioned my yet-unwritten screenplay (still waiting to get some screenwriting software and my brain back from chemo/summer-rot) as somthing similar, though minus the stupid romantic subplot. I mean I guess that’s part of post-grad life, even for me, but I think reeks too much of corniness.

Sigh. I guess I’ll start working on a TV-spinoff now.

And in the meantime…this gave me a silly cover-letter idea that has the same probability of floating as this film does in the box office this summer. Um, in my opinion, it’s not the best time to make a film about struggling college students at a time when few of us (the target audience) have jobs and money to spend on frivolous trips to the movie theater to watch frustrating movies that remind us about our own dilemmas.

Yo, FILM INDUSTRY! We’d rather spend our money watching films like Harry Potter that reminds us of our earlier adolescence Harry Potter, or inspires us for the future like Star Trek. Or heck, even Transformers 2, so we can go braindead for a solid opiate-like 2.5 hours.

Well, at least that’s what the box office says.

By the way, if you haven’t read Roger Ebert’s Transformers 2 review, please do.

Here’s a taste:

The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed “The Rock” in 1996. Now he has made “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Faust made a better deal.

My inner English major (nerd) is screaming “OHHhhhh BURNED!” right now.

Anyways, cheers.

20

07 2009

Hollywood features Sacramento

I always complain that there’s nothing special about Sacramento as a city.
The nightlife is too polite. The tasty restaurants are sparse. The public art stale and often outdated. Our sports teams embarrassing. The main employer in the city is the state, and it isn’t hiring. The terrain is flat and largely featureless. Our winters too cold and our summers too hot.

But hey, Hollywood once again reminds us that no matter the climate, LOVE can happen.

Here’s Katherine Heigl (Grey’s Anatomy, Knocked Up) and Gerard Butler (300) in a new RomCom, “The Ugly Truth,” which is SET IN SACRAMENTO!

If you caught the first three frames in the trailer, you can see the Tower Bridge, the Delta King, and a bit of Sacramento’s humble skyline.

I DO hope that is a Sacramento River Cats game.

I wonder if she’ll go on a date in Old Sac.

Go Sacramento.

02

07 2009


pageTracker._initData(); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {}