Have a Jolly Good Talk like a Pirate Day, me Hearties
Captain’s Log:
Arrr, to mark this jolly occasion, International Talk like a Pirate Day, I here hearken back some choice parrrchment scribblin’s betwixt me mateys and meself:
Chris: Yoyo
Me: hello me heartie
Chris: How you doin
Me: i be well, ye strapping lad.
Chris: Ok so what’s with the gay pirate speech?
Me: today be national talk like a pirate day, ye landlubber!
Chris: Yahar!!
Me: arrr ye watchin’ football this day?
Chris: At work So no I heard sc lost to uw
Me:arrr indeed, indeed! i possess no cable telemagic, so i could not gander at the jollymaking
Chris: Good god
Me:why say ye that?
Chris: Your pirate
Me: me piratey tongue?
[Me matey ceased our parley following this piratey exchange. Scurvy salt dog!]
—
Me: today what be the ship’s course?
David:i set sail to berkeley later at night
for some grub and ale at a crewmate’s apt warming
Me:arrr ye olde greek-type symposium, eh?
of late, i pillaged thar learning-place, yon getty villa with me hearty christopher
David: did you get some booty
Me: yon villa has much ancient booty
mummies and grave plunderin’s
David: dang
i like ancient booty
Me: cursed booty
David: them young maidens don’t got what i needs
Me: yar many old captains arrr buried with them virgins
[A few shots 'o rum later]
David: http://three.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/da/da4cd5fa2c38f525ed2e636d03de87d957640b0a.jpg
lulz
Me: arrr, why be half of them from twilight
or teen dramas, arrr
David: well, i’m happy for you and imma let you finish but i’m one of the best pirates ever
Me:arr ye falsetale spitting fiend
David: LOL
Tommy in Power Rangers
Me:
harrrrr
who be the dame gackt camui?
or be he a matey?
David:matey yo
greatest japanese man alive
Me:me piratey err.
—
Anrong: a hoy there matey
Me: arr how be yer day
Anrong: me day be dandy, met some gansta folk
and yer day?
Me: this morn i slept stiller than a rock weathered by the stormy seas
and did not wake ’til the early afternoon sun
i conjured some morning grub
Anrong: that be some splendid morning
this talking like a pirate day, be quite hard, if i must say so meself
i be watching the usc washington game at me grandpappis
i say them trojans be looking quite bad
Me: indeed indeed!
yon troy has fallen
Anrong: a hoy!
captain pete carroll
must be furious like the seas
—
This day be more or less uneventful for this weathered seafarer. Yarrr…this lack of cable telemagic truly casts a somber darkness upon this year’s football season! If only I had me a black box to conjure the wonders and likes of ESPN and FSN to follow me hearties on the battle fields!
Instead, I swabbed the decks o’ me captain’s quarters and unearthed me business carrrds, while waging warcraft upon wicked ants trespassing upon me territory. 409 and parchment towels prove effective battlemates. Me sword remains unstained and me cannons unfired. In the very truth…I own a Nikon, HAR HAR! Me puns be cornier than ye mother’s feet.
A few turns o’ the hourglass later, while taking a gander at me financial records, me realized me retirement funds had disappeared like a ship beyond yon horizon. I tossed an electronic bottled message to the scurvy mates at the bank. Lady Fortune smiled upon me! Me booty was not lost, but was in transport from me ol’ captain-boss, me UCLA retirement treasure chest, an’ was rolling over into me IRA.
Ahoy, though this day sails to a close, and yon sun dips low upon the horizon, I wish ye all a jolly Talk Like a Pirate Day. May ye merrymaking last many sunrises more.
